"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." Groucho Marx
"The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable." Oscar Wilde ('A Woman of No Importance' 1893)
"She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech." George Bernard Shaw
"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault." Henry Kissinger.
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." Dave Barry.
"Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything." Herb Caen.
"The cocktail party is a device for paying off obligations to people you don't want to invite for dinner." Charles Smith.
"Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes." Oscar Wilde ('Lady Windemere's Fan' 1892)
"As yet, Bernard Shaw hasn't become prominent enough to have any enemies, but none of his friends like him." Oscar Wilde
"He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend; provided, of course, he really is dead." Voltaire.
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent." Dave Barry.
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." Groucho Marx
"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically." Steven Wright
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